Why do Couples Avoid Couples Therapy

Couples therapy, also known as couples counseling or marriage counseling, is a valuable resource for couples seeking to improve their relationship, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their bond. However, it is not uncommon for couples to avoid or hesitate to engage in couples therapy, despite the potential benefits it offers. 

Picture this: you and your partner have been going through some rough patches lately. You argue more frequently, feel distant, and have trouble finding common ground. You know that something needs to change, but the thought of couples therapy gives you pause. 

Sound familiar? If the answer is yes, then trust me, you’re not alone. 

So, why does this happen? That’s what we’re here to discuss. By understanding some of the factors that hold us back, we hope to empower couples like you to overcome these barriers and embrace the potential of couples therapy. Trust me, it’s worth exploring, and the rewards can be truly transformative. Let’s dive in!

Fear of Judgement

One significant reason couples avoid couples therapy is the fear of being stigmatized or labeled as “broken” or “unstable.” Even now when individual therapy is becoming more widely accepted; society often places an unfair stigma on couples seeking therapy, implying that couples who need counseling are somehow flawed. 

However, it is important to understand that seeking therapy does not mean a relationship is failing; instead, it signifies a commitment to growth and improvement. Couples therapy can be an empowering choice that demonstrates a couple’s willingness to invest in their relationship’s well-being.

Reluctance to Face Uncomfortable Truths

Couples therapy requires open and honest communication, which can be challenging (and scary) for some individuals. Many couples fear that therapy will bring to light uncomfortable truths, exposing vulnerabilities and confronting difficult issues. However, it’s important to remember that the purpose of therapy is not to assign blame or focus on negative aspects but rather to facilitate understanding, promote growth, and find solutions together. Couples therapy should provide couples with a safe space where they can explore their concerns, express themselves, and work towards positive change.

You Don’t Think Therapy Can Really Help

Oftentimes couples think that their problems are too big or small to actually get therapy for. You might think that only couples with giant, relationship ending problems need therapy. Or maybe you think the opposite, that couples therapy is just for couples with smaller problems and that you’re too far gone. 

The great thing about couples therapy is that there’s space for everyone that needs it, regardless of how big you think your problem is. In fact, there’s even room in couples therapy for couples that seem to be doing just fine without it. That’s because couples therapy can not only help you address problems in the relationship, regardless of how far along they are, but it can also help you prepare for potential problems in the future.  

You Think Individual Therapy is the Answer

When you’re having issues in a relationship, it’s easy to start thinking that maybe individual therapy is the answer. After all, you could each have your own individual things to work on and could possibly benefit from individual therapy. However, it’s important to remember that your potential individual issues are likely not the sole cause for what issues you might have in your relationship. 

In relationships, there are some things that should be worked on together. Couples therapy allows your couples therapist to see the dynamic between you and your partner and help you solve problems together, rather than potentially feeding a bias against you or your partner. This allows you to resolve issues before they become worse, while also growing together. 

Financial Concerns

Financial considerations can also deter couples from seeking therapy. Couples may worry about the cost of therapy and whether it is a justifiable expense. However, it is important to view couples therapy as an investment in the relationship’s long-term happiness and stability. 

If you’re still concerned about the financial aspect of couples therapy, reach out to your prospective couples therapist and see what kinds of payment plans or packages they offer. This can help you budget. Additionally, you can check in with your healthcare insurance coverage to determine if therapy services are included. 

Misconceptions About the Therapeutic Process

In our current society, there are a lot of harmful (and incorrect) beliefs and stories about couples therapy. Think about what you know of couples therapy. Even if you’ve never been to couples therapy, there’s still a good chance that you have an opinion of it from something you’ve read, seen in the media, or heard from a friend or family member. 

Some may fear that therapy involves rehashing painful past experiences or engaging in blame games. It is crucial to educate couples about the therapeutic process, highlighting that therapy is a collaborative endeavor focused on understanding and finding constructive ways to navigate challenges. By demystifying the process, couples can gain a clearer understanding of the potential benefits and feel more comfortable seeking therapy.

Couples therapy can be a transformative experience that allows couples to deepen their connection, address unresolved issues, and develop effective communication and problem-solving skills. However, it is essential to acknowledge the reasons why couples might avoid couples therapy. By understanding these concerns from a therapist’s perspective, we can work towards breaking down barriers and encouraging more couples to embrace the opportunity for growth and healing. Remember, seeking couples therapy is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards a brighter future together.

If you want to learn more, feel free to reach out to us at https://thattherapyspace.com/, by phone at (509) 800-7129, or by email at [email protected]. We are located in Liberty Lake, Washington, just minutes from Spokane, WA, and Coeur D’ Alene, ID. We offer both in person and virtual therapy options and would love to support you, no matter where you’re at in your relationship.

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