Relationships are challenging. You have to be willing to work with each other and find compromises to your problems. Still, problems can and will appear and threaten your relationship. One of the most common problems is infidelity. Cheating creates an extreme breach of trust and is very hard to come back from. It’s not impossible, though, and it doesn’t have to happen.
Believe it or not, you can set your relationship up for success and reduce the potential of infidelity. In this post, we’ll talk about what infidelity is and how you can respond to it.
The Basics
What is Infidelity?
No one goes into a relationship thinking they will get cheated on. In fact, many people believe it couldn’t happen to them. Unfortunately, it’s not all that uncommon. According to studies, 20-25% of married women and 20-40% of married men will have an affair of some sort. And 50-60% of single people have admitted to attempting to seduce someone that’s married.
But what is infidelity anyways?
Infidelity is defined as being unfaithful to a spouse or partner (aka cheating). That said, everyone is different and can have different definitions of infidelity. That’s why discussing your version of infidelity with your partner and managing expectations is essential.
There are so many basic ways that the definition of cheating can change for people. For example, some people have open relationships or are polyamorous (meaning they can have more than one partner). In relationships like these, cheating has to be outlined by the involved parties. Some people even consider porn infidelity. With our current technology, you can cheat on your partner from afar. Even flirting is considered cheating by some. Then there’s also emotional infidelity, which isn’t sexual. Still, some believe it’s worse due to the emotional connection.
As you can see, there are so many conditions for infidelity that it can be challenging to know your partner’s definition without asking. That’s why it’s vital to communicate openly and honestly about your beliefs. Having an understanding with your partner can help prevent infidelity.
How to Respond to Infidelity
For the Cheater
If you have any plans of attempting to salvage your original relationship, you need to be completely honest with your spouse and stop the lies. You need to own your actions and apologize sincerely, asking for forgiveness. Show through your words and actions that you are committed to learning and growing from this. You also need to cut off the other person and end that relationship.
For the Cheated On
The ball is in your court. Whether the relationship continues or ends is up to you, so set the tone. Your feelings are totally valid, so do not let anyone try to invalidate them or rush you to get over what happened. Do not try to exact revenge on anyone involved or blame yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.
To Work on Together
You need to decide together whether or not you want to stay together. If you want to stay together, you need to be patient. Mending a relationship will take time.
Regardless, here are a few things to consider:
- You both might need to get tested for STDs (sexually transmitted diseases)
- Be careful when getting advice from an outsider (like a friend or family member). They could be biased, and that could affect their advice.
- Go to couples counseling to work through your problems. Couples therapy could be helpful, even if you don’t want to stay together. It can provide closure before you move on from the relationship.
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If you’d like additional help, you can find us on our website at https://thattherapyspace.com/, by phone at (509) 800-7129, or by email at [email protected]. We are located in Liberty Lake, Washington, just minutes from Spokane, WA, and Coeur D’ Alene, ID.