We’re all different on an individual level. What works for one of us might not work for the other. This is true in pretty much every aspect of our lives. With that said, it’s easy to continue onto my next point: every couple is different. Couples follow the same general logic as individuals do, just with two people instead of one. So what works for one couple won’t necessarily work for another couple. And with the additional person that’s present in a couple, what might work at one point in time might need to eventually be shifted to accommodate both of your needs.
It’s especially important to understand this when it comes to financial responsibilities in a relationship. These responsibilities can include everything from who pays the bills to what your budget looks like to the weighty question of whether or not you have a joint bank account. This question is significant usually because of personal beliefs and psychological significance to each of the people in the relationship, so it’s a good idea to talk through money and marriage.
Joint vs. Separate Accounts: A matter of trust?
Many people boil down the idea of what to do with their bank account to a simple question of trust, but it’s not really that simple. With that school of thought, you can find yourself questioning or judging the quality of your relationship on the state of your finances instead of the reality of your relationship. You could even find yourself thinking “I don’t want to share a bank account, does that mean I don’t trust my partner?” or “My partner doesn’t want to have a joint bank account…maybe we aren’t as close as I thought we were?” even when it has nothing to do with that.
Instead of looking at the question of what to do with your bank account as a make-or-break judgment of your relationship, think of it as a question of logistics. What are the pro’s and con’s of having a joint bank account? Separate accounts? Could you do some sort of hybrid situation? What’s the easier option for you as a couple? What makes the most sense for you?
What Does Each Situation Look Like
Like I said, every situation and every relationship are different. Here are a few examples of what situations you could run into:
- One couple might be made of two people that work as independent contractors that can claim a variety of business expenses on taxes. It might be hard to manage tax write offs in this situation, so maybe separate bank accounts would be more beneficial. Even if just one person works independently or can claim any business expenses, only having a joint account might make things more difficult come tax season.
- In a relationship where both people have steady paychecks and not a lot of business expenses, maybe a joint account is fine. It can be especially beneficial to have a joint account if one of the people has a difficult time managing finances.
Whatever the case, neither of these examples had anything to do with the state of the relationship. All that mattered was the logistics of the situation.
Why You (or Your Partner) Might Want to Have Separate Bank Accounts
When it comes down to making the decision, there are a lot of factors that could impact your choice. Here are a few factors to take into consideration before you make a decision:
- You or your partner are used to financial freedom and don’t want that to change.
- You and your partner have different spending habits and separate accounts could help you each manage your spending better.
- You and/or your partner could have a bad history with money. Maybe you didn’t have a lot of money growing up or maybe there’s been some financial abuse in the past. Whatever the case, one or both of you are more comfortable with the idea of separate bank accounts.
- It could just be easier for you to have separate bank accounts. Maybe you have business expenses you can claim or maybe it’s just easier to budget that way.
- Maybe one of you earns much more than the other. In this case, it’s up to both of you to decide what makes the most sense in all areas of your finances.
How to Make (and Live With) Your Decision
With so many factors that could impact your decision, it also might be worth considering that there is more than one solution. You could decide to have both joint and separate bank accounts. Maybe you have a joint savings account for vacations and a joint checking account for joint purchases or expenses (think bills, appliances, furniture, etc). You might have a joint rainy day savings account that you each pour into and separate bank accounts for spending. Another option is to have separate AND joint checking and savings accounts.
The possibilities really are endless so you can find a solution that works for your relationship. Just make sure that you communicate clearly about whatever decision you make and any other financial decisions you might need to make in the future. It’s important that you both understand what you’re each comfortable with to make sure your finances don’t end up causing too much trouble in the future.
The good part about bank accounts is that you can always make decisions to change your situation in the future. Maybe at first separate bank accounts make the most sense, but as the relationship progresses you decide that having a joint bank account would be better.
If you have any questions or need any more help reaching a decision, feel free to reach out! Here at That Therapy Space, we want to help you and your partner continue to live happy and harmonious lives. You can find us on our website at https://thattherapyspace.com/, by phone at (509) 800-7129, or by email at [email protected]. We are located in Liberty Lake, Washington, just minutes from Spokane, WA, and Coeur D’ Alene, ID.